Hello dear friend,
What to say after years between us, silently lapping away time like waves upon sand.
I’ve missed you.
I’ve thought about you nearly every day, wondering what you’re up to, wondering why we don’t talk anymore. Of course, it’s a two-way wonder. When did I stop asking how your day has been? They say people drift together and apart, but I didn’t realize it would be so quiet. I didn’t think it would be us.
Do you remember . . .
This is what we have now, memories of when we were inseparable and curious; when we thought there was no one who could possibly understand, except each other. Hands held tightly, a tether between us, and a little braver for it. When the world was so, so big and yet much smaller than it is now.
We were so young.
And we knew it. We thought these years would be the best of our lives, wild and colorful and carefree, and we tried to make it so. Laughter in the grocery store, late nights and whispered secrets, quoting movies in goofy voices. We were so young, and we didn’t know what to do with the stress and deadlines and change. It was trembling ground, and we were learning to walk.
Pulling courage from each other because the self-checkout was closed.
Shaking voices whispering our hidden fears in the dead of night.
Insecurities and terrible coping skills and words locked up in our brains to rot, and the only thing we did right was tell each other so that we weren’t alone.
I’m doing fine,
I’m realizing we aren’t ever going to have life figured out, but we do learn more and more how to live it. I have changed so much since those memories of the past, and so have you. Our interests are no longer all the same. I’m not quite sure what to talk about anymore; what I’m doing now is easy enough to say, but it’s strange for you to not know every step I took to get here.
It’s strange for friendships to grow and change with us.
How are you?
Really, truly. Time and change and distance has come for us, but I still hold that pinky-promise we made at one in the morning.
I’m here for you, even though you no longer fear talking to the grocery clerk. Our friendship remains, even though it is no longer us against the strange, unknown world.
It is different, talking like this. Like we haven’t been talking every day. Like we haven’t seen each other in a while. This is a new chapter.
But not the last one.
You’re still stuck with me, pal. Forever and ever.